We are often criticized for shortcomings, and we strive to get rid of them, because we want to get even more attention, love, respect. But it turns out that with the eradication of the shortcomings, individuality is lost. And now we already hear from those who had previously criticized us: “Previously, you were much more interesting (more charismatic, more attractive)” ”. We are overwhelmed by righteous anger: “Didn’t you point to me and convinced me to get rid of them?” Why is this happening?
The answer to this question is simple: our disadvantages give rise to advantages. They give us attractive imperfection and change life for the better.
1. Selfishness or the ability to wish
Living for yourself means to be an example of how not to waste your life. Egoists are not aware of attention, despite the accusations that it is difficult to communicate with them and build relationships. A selfish person attracts what knows what he wants. He does not doubt his desires and seeks to realize them.
Many people feel guilty for their desires. Since childhood, they are accustomed to what they say about their desires: “This is not the main thing now”, “there are more important things”, “there is such a word-“ it is necessary ”… as a result, it is easier for them to achieve something for others
than for themselves. And they also communicate with the egoists with pleasure: they have forgotten how to wish, and the selfish can do it.
Imagine a man who knows exactly what he wants. Interested in a woman, he will express his “want” without delay. This attracts more women than attempts to make a favorable impression. Healthy egoism paints life with bright colors full of desires.
2. Arrogance or ability to appreciate yourself highly
To be arrogant means to measure yourself high. Arrogance is characteristic of people who occupy a high position. So they outline the boundaries and choose a circle of communication. Therefore, when we meet someone who behaves arrogantly, the perception scheme works like this: if a person so clearly demonstrates superiority, he most likely has reason.
Arrogance is supported by the internal state. If you really value yourself and are convinced of uniqueness, this is a sign for others to think the same way.
3. Indifference to someone else’s opinion or self -confidence
Self -confidence is a consequence, and the root cause is that you do not matter the opinion of others about you. Most miss the chances of victory and success for a simple reason: we are not indifferent to what others say about us.
Suppose two employees developed projects: controversial, ambiguous, brilliant. At the same time, one began to ask the opinion of authoritative colleagues. It was criticized: they said that there are few chances, the project is too controversial and it is unlikely that something would work out. His hands dropped, and he did not begin to present his brainchild.
His colleague did not ask someone else’s opinion. He presented the project with success. Many supporters and opponents gathered around the project, but no one remained indifferent. Which of them is pretty? The one who listened to someone else’s opinion and was disappointed in his idea, or the one who remained faithful to himself and achieved recognition?
4. Ambitiousness or the ability to admit that you deserve the best
It is difficult to imagine a leader without ambitions. The desire to take a leading position is a sign of ambitiousness. People are divided into those who hide ambitions, and those who demonstrate them.
One woman dreamed of raising. She did a job well, but tried not to show interest when the boss started a conversation about the desired position. She was afraid to seem immodest and be in a stupid position if everyone knows about her ambitions, and someone else would get the position. But the leader interpreted her behavior in his own way. He considered that she was satisfied with the current position and she did not seek to increase, and made a choice in favor of a less qualified, but more active candidate.
It is not common for others to guess our secret desires, they tend to believe the facts and what is said aloud. Undisguised ambitions – assistants in movement to success.
5. Self -love or the ability to love yourself as you are
Imagine a girl who likes himself, admires herself, cares for her body. Trying on the dress, he will never say: “I am fat” or “I have a bad figure”, but rather notes that the dress is sitting badly because it is incorrectly captured or it has an unsuccessful style.
Now imagine another girl, objectively more attractive than the first, who constantly finds shortcomings and finds fault. For men’s eyes, the first picture is more pleasant. When the girl is satisfied with herself, she leaves no chance to think about her imperfection.